Being Ignored, Feels Like Being Hated
If someone gets on Zoom and no one acknowledges them, they may feel ignored.
And in that moment they may feel something closer to being hated than being liked.
A provocative series of studies by Duke professor Mark Leary and his colleagues found that being ignored by others feels similar to feeling hated by others. When others ignore you, it can seem as if they don’t care for your needs or welfare. This is even more likely to occur when one has true needs that are seemingly being ignored, even unintentionally.
In distributed work, it is easy to feel unseen. Unlike in a face-to-face meeting, we have less in common and less of shared reality. And as we are personally connecting less, we may be feeling less acknowledged. Make sure that people know that it matters that they are there and that you have acknowledged their reality.
To avoid this follow the "see your audience" technique.
And in that moment they may feel something closer to being hated than being liked.
A provocative series of studies by Duke professor Mark Leary and his colleagues found that being ignored by others feels similar to feeling hated by others. When others ignore you, it can seem as if they don’t care for your needs or welfare. This is even more likely to occur when one has true needs that are seemingly being ignored, even unintentionally.
In distributed work, it is easy to feel unseen. Unlike in a face-to-face meeting, we have less in common and less of shared reality. And as we are personally connecting less, we may be feeling less acknowledged. Make sure that people know that it matters that they are there and that you have acknowledged their reality.
To avoid this follow the "see your audience" technique.
See Your Audience Technique
More Ways to See Your Audience (From Toolkit)
See more on this tool and others in the OYF's Distributed Work Toolkit.